"I had to get truly sick of dating certain people to learn to say no to these patterns and take time to work on my stuff, and it was then I realized that all along I was the emotionally unavailable person, the common denominator was me, and as long as I didn’t know how to generate love within myself I would continue to seek out people who couldn’t or didn’t know how to love me. It was me who was unwilling to give myself self-love and acceptance and therefore I went seeking for this externally.
Once we are willing to face our situation and work on finding ways to heal, love and accept ourselves, our whole life becomes a movement of a celebration of that love...
On a soul level, not one of our relationships are mistakes or accidental. Every relationship is a mirror that we can use to see where we are at, where we need to heal, where we need to create boundaries and say no, and most importantly – where we need to love ourselves more. We need to develop a relationship with our true self, not our external conditioned ego self. Our soul essence is yearning to be recognized, it is crying out to be allowed to feel what has been silenced by for years by our emotional suppression. It wants to be nurtured by our relationship with it so it can blossom into it’s fullest, most beautiful expression of itself. And no relationship will be the key to set our soul free — except the relationship we have with ourselves."
I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist practicing in Carrboro, NC.